UFF DAH

THAT'S RIGHT I SAY 'UFF DAH'. (Shout out to my Midwest peeps, yo!)

For years now, I've been looking for a new curse word or phrase, because the old stand-bys just hadn't been cutting it. "Shit" was for minor things like slicing my finger open while making dinner, or tripping on the stairs. "Goddamnit" was for annoying customers and cold calling telemarketers. "Bitch" and "Asshole" are terms of endearment for friends. (If you met my friends, you would understand. I think. Or am I an asshole for that? Oh God!) "Fuck" covers anything from, as Lewis Black says, 'thinking up shit to say' to falling into puddles.

I say 'fuck' so often, that when I am pissed off, or hurt, or whatever, no one really takes me seriously. Some times I get so flustered, I can't even curse. I just spit out something like, "monkeypissfiddlesstickshitfuckcreek!"

I can hear your laughter.

That Norwegian phrase always works, even if no one down South really knows what it means, except for my Minnesotan friend. Hello friend! Thanks for making me feel less like a weirdo than the native Floridians!

The point I initially wanted to make, before being sidetracked explaining about uff dah, was that, once again, my work life is in disarray. Surprise! The second new girl quit! After a week of interviews and three weeks of training.

And the executive decision is that we won't be hiring a new person to fill the slot. Because, well, that's the job I've been doing anyways for the last four years, in addition to what I actually get paid for.

I get to work six days a week.

Twelve to sixteen hours a day. At least.

While going to school full time.

Oh boy.