Ow.

Suffer for fashion.

How many women do that every day? Seriously. Between bikini waxes, eyebrow plucking, hair dye, vanity sizing, exercises, diets, and that's not even taking into account cosmetic surgery. Then the fashions and trends we are bombarded with by the fashion industry are torture in their own way.

Like, stilettos. Visually elongate the leg line, tone legs and butt, make butt appear firmer and rounder. Also, shorten calf muscles, cause bunions and fallen arches, and are hell on the knees.

Now, I love stilettos. The higher the heel, the better. I have no heels under 3 1/2 inches. My guy friends give me concerned looks when I teeter around and ask, "Are you ok? Want me to carry you?" HA! Thank you friends, but I am a high heel SPECIALIST. I can do just about anything I need to in my highest of high heels, short of hiking for six hours and crawling through underground caves.

That's beside the point.

(I'll admit, sometimes I do ask them to carry me back to the car or apartment, but that's usually because I've had too much fun for one night.)

(Also, I have weak ankles. I can't even stand flat footed without my ankles wobbling. And my high arches make the surface area of my tiny feet even tinier. It's a wonder I don't fall more often.)

The woes of my tiny feet are fascinating, I'm sure. I'm almost 5' 8" with a size 7 shoe. My feet are almost freakishly out of proportion with my body. FREAKISH. I always had small feet, and didn't help matters any as a kid when I stubbornly refused to get new shoes when I outgrew my saddle shoes (which, by the way, I was in love with as a six - seven year old) and instead would stuff my feet in there for a few extra years until the soles fell off.

Foot binding, whoo! I was a dumb kid. Oh yeah.

I'm not that much smarter now, especially when it comes to shoes. Particularly stilettos. Last year I found a pair of Candie's candy striped heels (I'll make an OOTD post around them soon) at Kohl's. After enlisting two poor salesclerks into searching the back for any pairs left, they came back with a pair in size 6. I snapped those puppies up SO FAST. They are SO TIGHT. Oh yes, I'm a smart one.

I'm so smart, that I decided to get a pair of heavy ass wedges from Wal-Mart! *fist pump like a champ*

I went to Wal-Mart to pick up some Zyrtec before puppysitting my brother's dogs. I'm extremely allergic to pet dander, and his pups are some of the fluffiest, sheddiest (?) animals out there. My insurance company refuses to pay for my allergy medication (Allegra, which doesn't work very well) because, and I quote from the letter they sent me, "[a]llergens can be controlled easily with OTC drugs, saving you money on doctor's visits and prescriptions".

OTC allergy meds do not control my allergies. My physician prescribed meds don't control my allergies. I'm so allergic to pet dander, I've considered getting the allergy shots even though my insurance refuses to cover it. Oh, Insurance Company! You silly geese!

Anyways, I figured, since I was already there, I might as well just pop over to the shoes and just see what they have. I've been looking for a cute summery wedge for a couple months now, and so far, no dice.

But, Wal-Mart had it! Just how I like it! Huge platform, interesting strap design, and a warm camel-caramely color. For $20. Um, hells to the yeah!

Downside: a nice big platform translates to a HEAVY ASS SHOE. I wore them out with the girls last night to break them in. Super easy to walk in, super cute with capris, a mini-workout for my legs. No biggie.

I woke up sore as hell.

I need to work out more.